Wednesday, November 21, 2018

New Roommate?

So as I was saying farewell to the roommate website because it's turned into a SPAM website more than a useful tool to find compatible person to share space in a specific location. So I sent messages to a dozen or so people and this message below was the one that received a response:

I am honest, kind, reliable, respectful - you? I've been looking to share a place for a while without much luck, so I am looking at renting a room again. Tell me more about your place? Please email (my email) as I am not paying for this site at the moment so I can't read messages here. Hope to hear from you, thanks. Ric


And he responded...

My name is (his name). you sent me a message about the room in Lake Mary.

Its a 4 bedroom 2 bath house 2000 sq ft. I am the only full time resident but kids some days. The room is by the front door and the bathroom will be private.

Does that sound like something you might be interested in?


And I responded back...

Just getting in from work. Does that sound like something I'd be interested in?... A resounding yes and a bit of no :)

The "yes" comes from wanting to live in a clean place (you wouldn't believe this place I rent these days), not that I'm OCD squeaky clean person, just want to be able to use a kitchen and bathroom without cleaning up behind someone every time... and I don't want to put a third of my salary into rent, which is what one bedrooms cost anywhere but the really bad neighborhoods. So I choose to give up some privacy to share space for comfort and security and keep costs down these days. I had a house in the 90's when 1800 sq ft could be had for a $900 15 year mortgage even with high interest rates. Feels like a few lifetimes ago. So anyway, most of me says yes. I do need to give my current roommate/landloard 30 days notice, but I can afford to overlap some too.

The "no" comes because I pay $140 a month for storage and I want to get my stuff out of there... and I am looking for a relatively permanent place because moving is not as much fun as I used to think it was. I've been thinking about buying a house, though financially I'd need to share most houses I'd like to buy. Before that sounds like a financial risk, I work for the County so income is steady (though a lot less than I used to make because I wanted a lighter load at work), have a credit rating that hovers around 800, and won't have a problem with $700 a month (even though I'd rather less... . hey, honesty is my way. :)

I've been looking for another roommate to share a space for almost two years and the right connection just hasn't happened. Living just five minutes from my desk has probably undermined my search somewhat... as unpleasant as living here can be, the convenience has me spoiled.

So that's a bit about me, specifically why I reached out and why I am needing to convince myself to move into someone else's house again. I really do want to be able to cook meals in a kitchen and make myself at home in a bathroom again. Have any room for some plastic storage bins in your garage? (I ask like we're already friends, but hey, $700 would be a lot easier if I wasn't paying for storage, so I can ask and hope :)

I write a lot and tend to ramble on paper, but I'm quiet and respectful at home. Since you want month to month, you can always boot me after a month if I rub you the wrong way (I don't think I will). Honesty is what I respect most. My careers and life has been about taking care of others. I've given everything I've had away a few times, which is why I probably won't retire again (I took a decade off when I was about your age, retired early, but started over after "love" didn't work out).

So what do you think now that you've read this?

Thanks for reading,


Followed by this text:

I just got home and emailed you a bit of an introduction and an answer to your question. I wrote it out because that helps me figure out what I want to do. If you understand maybe we can get together and talk. I've got dinner plans the next three nights. When would be good for you?


And he responded with several texts that summed up said I sound like someone I could share space with, that there is more than enough room in garage and house, he likes a clean home, the second bathroom would be mine alone, and he's looking for more than a month to month commitment. He read my words and responded to my concerns. Impressive. He's an engineer, which could be excellent compatibility on many levels.

So we meet at his place tomorrow.

Ok, so I am hopeful in spite of the compromises I sense there would have to be. Hopeful enough to post this here and link it to the daily blog. Of course part of me wants feedback and reassurance and encouragement and so on, but I don't expect to get any of that anymore. I post with that hope but just as much with the idea that this life I've lived is shared on some level even if I won't be around when the sharing actually happens.

Life may change dramatically in nine hours.



Sunday, November 18, 2018

Fishing Again

An impulsive look and the email that does not go into my "Important" folder found a Plenty Of Fish email at the top so I clicked and impulsively sent two messages and updated my profile a bit. After all, I no longer have a few extra pounds and I still have hope someone in this world might actually relate to me and accept me as I am, strange as that may seem.

So...


Good manners may be everything, but faux pas make it easier to laugh at one's self (I'm easily amused). I was a veggie for 12 years and vegan for 3, but firmly enjoy an omnivorous chose these days. You've got many qualities I respect, but I may have given up on humanity enough to not be turned around in my slovenly ways. I wasn't always like this, giving everything away too many times and living on the street brings on changes in perspectives. Still, I smile at your optimism and caring - yes it shows. How's your patience? (if you laughed, we might just get along well :)

As for relationships, I'm not sure one exists for me anymore. Once upon a time I believed in true love and human goodness (The Princess Bride, Hook, Sleepless in Seattle are three all-time favorites), but people seem too confused and frightened to be trusted lately so I just want to find a friend who understands me and my perspective. It's been a very long time since I trusted someone intimately on any level. I am not looking for someone to save me. I adopt people in need too easily so I keep my distance. Why am I sending this message? Email brought me back to POF after many months away and impulse pushed through loneliness to say hello to you. A bit more than hello, aye? :)

(email and phone number) Surprise me with kind understanding and you may have a friend for life :)
Ric


Your first photo and second photo look so different, are they both of you? These sites sometimes baffle me. Why not start with deal-breakers and prevent confusing, time wasting, false hopes, and hurt feelings? Probably because it is not the best business plan. I don't trust easily and online, I don't trust much at all. Still, an email brought me back here after many month and impulse has me sending a message. For me, relationships start with friendships, activities, fun and serious conversations, and time to build trust. Once upon a time I enjoyed impulsive sex, but not in the past two decades. I have no need for religion or any gods, whether they are real or delusional. I avoid the news because people are insane and I'd rather keep negativity out of my daily view. I care about everything too much, so I insulate myself and distract myself with my own babbling and other creative play. So your first photo inspired my smile and attracted me and your second reminded me of my mother (laughing?), I believe in honesty, love, and caring. What makes you tic? :)














Sunday, September 16, 2018

The Roommate Search

The dream of finding another truly compatible roommate who shares similar living habits and comforts and interests and more leads me to post profiles on roommate websites and send messages to strangers with the hope they might become a friend and the compatible roommate. So the new layout and new features on the roommate dot com website that limited specificity of location and made it more like a dating site than a roommate site inspired me to change my profile and still, hope for the ideal roommate so I wrote this to all the people the site emailed to me. They said they were my "perfect match", after all.


So I get an email telling me "_________ is a perfect match." I have no clue why. It's a mystery lol. This new site is a big disappointment. I suspect they SPAM members a lot with that 'come on' just to get more traffic on their site. In any case, maybe you enjoy a good mystery too, so please read my profile and let me know if you can figure out why they referred you to me. :)

Please note that since the site is so unreliable, I don't pay for it anymore. I won't be able to read your messages if you respond on the site. Email me at candoor@gmail.com or call/text 407-325-1482 if you want to talk about sharing a place.

Hope you find what you are looking for - and enjoy life. :)

Ric


Oh, and that profile I referred to, this is what that says:


Hi :)

The new site misrepresents my location preference and is not appealing, so I'm not paying for it as it is. So email me if you want to talk about sharing a place. The match algorithm they use makes no sense to me and wastes a lot of time. So here's they profile you should go by: I am not looking for a room in your home. I want to share a place. What I am looking for is a compatible honest responsible respectful considerate open minded positive person who can share space comfortably. Location matters to me. I work in downtown Sanford (for the County) and play softball in Altamonte several times a week and would like to find a place between the two locations, preferably not far from I4. I seek honesty and kindness. I am what I seek. Mutual respect is essential. I am quiet at home, clean, considerate, responsible, reliable, and caring. I am active in sports & recreation and a kid at heart too busy enjoying life to want any part of stress or drama.

My last roommate of seven years (in the photos) moved out of town, but will be happy to answer questions about me - if you want references, just ask. My profession requires regularly passing a level 2 background check by the feds if that helps with any trust issues. I find humor in just about everything, but am serious about caring for others and finding a compatible roommate. If you are looking to share a place or want look for one with a new friend, please write candoor at gmail. Bugs Webbot is me on Facebook - friend me (or just check me out, as you wish). My telephone number is there too, feel free to text or call and introduce yourself. Are you my new roommate? There's always hope. If not, good luck in your search :)

This news site is a big disappointment. According to the email I received, you are a perfect match. I have no clue what they base that on and I suspect they SPAM members a lot with that 'come on' just to get more traffic on their site. In any case, please read my profile and let me know if you can figure out why they referred you to me. :)

Please note that since the site is so unreliable, I don't pay for it anymore. I won't be able to read your messages if you respond on the site. Email me at candoor@gmail.com or call/text 407-325-1482 if you want to talk about sharing a place.

Hope you find what you are looking for - and enjoy life. :)

Sunday, June 3, 2018

Tweaking the Fish

Updating the Plenty of Fish profile. In progress.


A word that best describes me? Nonsense lol. I am seriously irreverently serious. A dozen are accurate, so any one is inaccurate, yet that is the nature of social relationships. Labels, categories, boxes. If you fall for that prejudicial pretense of knowing someone, we probably won't be close friends.

Words may be a waste of time for we will never know each other through words alone, no less through just a few (hundred), but I do love words so here we are. Most of my friends know some part of me, but no one today knows more than half of my personality or interests because that takes time. I have lots of activity friends, no best friends. You are someone who will share that time it takes to become friends. Be open, honest, willing, and able to share yourself or we'll be wasting time - please do not pretend.

In this life, I find friendly conversation with most anyone, however rarely do I find truly intimate compatibility on any level. Intimacy i not sexuality in this sense, I've been asexual for many years and am not looking for a sexual fling. I seek to share intellect and emotions more than anything else, for the body is way too easy to share and please. Sexuality is too often misinterpreted as compatibility or even falling in love and I think that is the biggest mistake people make when interacting. I believe that the more you overcome your fears in healthy and positive ways, the better you will be able to share yourself.

If this profile will allow a link, then http://candoor.net is one way to know me. There you'll find a lot of words that detail my interests, including dozens of 'blogs', some personal some play some just kept like filing cabinets online. I've been writing since I could first hold a crayon. I love music of many genre from the Beatles (old and well known) to Meg & Dia (new and little known), from hard rock to show tunes and much in between. Songwriters: Harry Chapin, Jackson Browne, Pink Floyd, and John Lennon wrote words that are part of my psyche, as did Melissa Etheridge, Billy Joel, John Denver, Paul Simon, Tim Rice, Justin Hayward, Bernie Taupin, Stevi Nicks, Bob Dylan, and so many others. While lyrics may be my first love, musical journeys span from classical to heavy metal.

So I love words, writing, reading, communicating and playing with them. I love stories that stretch the imagination and challenge the status quo, such as science fiction and sociological allegories. I play softball in leagues a few times a week, each. Love of self is reflected in the body and if you are not loving yourself, I hope you start soon.I with share motivation as I can use some too. I enjoy some tv, especially when a friend enjoys a show with me. I used to watch a few shows with my roommate each week and I miss that. I love live theater, live music, life. I love to sing, ah, if only there were a hundred hours in each day.

My weekends are as busy as I want them to be as I have different groups of friends for my diverse interests (gee, I almost sound popular). Some days I stay home relaxing with tv, book, youtube, reading web pages, or some geeky activity involving computers or other gadgets. I do not drink or take any drugs to get high anymore (I've tried them all long ago so I don't condemn or preach as I once enjoyed chemically induced alternative consciousnesses, I can just get there internally now because, after all, the brain does it all anyway).

My primary goal in this life has always been to live honestly without harm and most of the time I achieve it (nobody's perfect - and who wants to be nobody, ya know?). Sharing life with a partner who shares everything is a goal I've not achieves, though I've had long relationships that have come close. I am very happy within myself, enjoy life alone, and love sharing with others. I am looking for someone who fits me as I fit them. That may not happen in this life, but I remain a hopeful child :)

Still reading?... ah, see, there is hope :)

This site, like most, limits the accuracy of profiles with fixed pull down menus. It refused to let me leave "birth parents" blank. I was adopted, so the question is moot. Another inaccuracy is my date of birth. I will not provide online profiles with a date of birth for that makes identity theft too easy. If it matters, I am an Aries and the year is one year off. I work in a sensitive job in the public sector and must maintain some distance between my online activities and my professional life. Ask me face to face and I will explain more. See, I can be serious too :)

This site suggests that I point out what makes me unique. Probably have too much already? (ah, I love self-mockery, but you might have noticed by now). I have no need for the common crutches and communal supports that most people seem to need in this life. As I see it, religion is a dangerous delusion that provokes and provides justification for more harm than any other single concept in human history or daily life. Politics is mostly for control freaks and there are way too many fighting for control due to their insecurities, greed, and other inadequacies. While I disagree with some of what George Carlin said on the subjects, he articulated many opinions that makes sense to me and there is more wisdom in his words than in most humans I've listened to. Harry Chapin too. I respect some human fears, but do not share many. I think clothing is a pretense people hide behind, like makeup and titles and money and other masks, to cover up their fear of being real. I see people pretend all the time. I sense the realness within and feel sad they try so hard to hide it. I don't want to hurt anyone, but I see people hurting themselves all the time and when intimate, I will not ignore self-harm or remain silent about it because remaining silent about it is not my way (silent acceptance of harm is harm). I am far from perfect, but I am internally self-actualized and aware when I want to be. I am told that it is challenging to relate to me because I am "too" something - diverse, innocent, idealistic, intelligent, energetic, child-like, eclectic, stubborn, strong, sensitive, open, honest, intense, different, simple, complex, out there). Wordy? lol. The one I seek is out there with me :)

I am known as Bugs Webbot on facebook and candor on myspace the links on those pages will tell you more about me. The simplest way to know me is just ask. My approach to these social networking websites (and I’ve tried hundreds over the years) is - if I find a friend here, wonderful. If I find someone who might become a partner in life, amazing... I hope you amaze me :)

Whatever you do, may you give it your all and create more smiles than frowns along the way :)


This is continued from above because of character limits on this site...

What does ambition even mean to you? They force us to select too many labels here and that provides an inaccurate profile, but I mentioned that already, didn't I? Land of the free, ha lol :)

Ok, so at first I selected "other relationship" from the list above because I have friends, but don't have a best friend. I can find a lover (as Billy Joel sang), but do not have an intimate partner. I have dreams, but do not have a soulmate in life today. I am looking for people who can relate to me more closely, intimately, universally, and hopefully one person will feel the same partnership with me that I seek. I selected "a few extra pounds" once because I am more comfortable with less weight on this body than I have today, but I am also able to run around with kids regularly playing ball..I love food, so there is a balance to be found.

On a purely physical level (which is not what I seek, but you may wish to know), I respect healthy fitness and that is attractive for me. Flab and fat are not because they are signs of unhealthy laziness or even self-abuse..Be honest in your love. I strongly suggest that if you feel fat, flabby, or old (on any level, physically, emotionally, intellectually, ethereally), then focus your energy on improving your feeling about yourself before you look for self-esteem outside of yourself. I hope you actualize love for yourself in every way.

So I switched to "Friends" because that is where any truly meaningful relationship must begin (wild passionate sex is not a complete enough relationship for me, no matter how perfectly passionate and fun. If you want to turn on my libido and only my libido, you probably will not get what you want, but you can try cuz, as the Stones sang, sometimes... if you fit the narrow libido fantasy, that is... we can mock libido and ego all we want when we are friends :)

Dating? I don't think I've ever been on a what most people seem to call date in this life. My few close relationships started by chance meeting through work or through friendly gatherings. The time for sharing sensual pleasures, for me, is after we are close friends. Whether in the ambiance of a favorite restaurant or with the sand sliding between our toes on a secluded beach or immersed in the excitement of any favorite activity - or intimate stimulation of our senses, I am open, but cautious. We can prove how much we care about each other after we know each other well enough to know we care for each other, anytime before that is pretense. I don't do pretense well at all. Call it a social flaw.

I want to know your awkward pauses. I want to know you and I want you to know me without the games or pretenses or rituals. All I ask is that you do not intentionally cause harm or avoid sharing yourself without telling me. Stay honest above all else.

Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Stark (Raving Mad?)

It was somewhere in a fairy tale...

What I mean is... (in case it matters)...

I live that, the words, the life, the addiction to love, the insatiable hunger for giving, sharing, trusting, falling, loving... the chemical rush, high, euphoria, love.

I save myself by raising my standard, separating this body from the mind, rejecting humanity as an unstable, untrustworthy, unrelatable species. Waiting for the one who understands, who can actualize the unconditional trust and honesty it takes to do it right, to love forever...

Honesty is such a lonely word...

Is there anybody going to listen to my story...

The words, the songs, the message...

Time time time it's telling us a story)...

from the beginning ... and before...

Even though I sometimes forget who I am...

Maybe, maybe I'm wrong...

So long sleeping, but the heart still beats...

so many ways, so many times...

shhhhh, the wisdom and folly are two sides of the coin that I flip every day...

as distraction, remember my space?

could be songs we never heard or foolish wisdoms echoing from the madhouse on the other side of the wall...

look into the words, and find me there...

Saturday, February 10, 2018

New Profile

For the roommate website. I've tried being brief, I've tried being real, I've tried being superificial like 99% of the entries on the site. So now I am trying this.

Hi :)

As casual as we may want to be, finding a roommate is a serious step. Inviting a stranger into our lives, into the intimacy of shared living space, into a commitment to being in close proximity and interacting every day - that is a major life change. That is a big reason I procrastinate about moving from the "known" to the "unknown." I want more space than I have renting a room where I am, I want to share an apartment or house, but change is not always easy. So I wonder... are we all in search of the perfect roommate?... and what if it's us? :)

We will never know unless we communicate, introduce ourselves, and move forward. I will never know until I stop procrastinating about finding a better place. There is just so little time... how about you? What I am looking for is a compatible honest responsible respectful considerate open minded positive person who can share space comfortably. Location matters to me. I want a place near I4 as I work in downtown Sanford and play ball in Altamonte several times a week. I am looking to share a 2-2 split floorplan as that allows more privacy. I do not want a rent a room in someone's house - I want to share a place and make it home.

So who am I... I seek honesty and kindness. I am what I seek. Mutual respect is essential. I am quiet at home, clean, considerate, active in sports & recreation, responsible, reliable, and a kid at heart too busy enjoying life to feed stress or drama. My last roommate (photos) of six years will be happy to answer questions about me. My profession requires a level 2 background check by the feds, so if that helps, feel free to check me out. I find humor in just about everything, but am serious about caring for others and finding a compatible roommate.

If you are looking to share a place or want look for one with a hopeful new friend, please write candoor at gmail. Bugs Webbot is me on Facebook - friend me (or spy on me lol... you might like me). My telephone number is there too, feel free to text or call and introduce yourself. Are you my new roommate? Good luck in your search :)


Unfortunately, it shows up like this:

Hi :) As casual as we may want to be, finding a roommate is a serious step. Inviting a stranger into our lives, into the intimacy of shared living space, into a commitment to being in close proximity and interacting every day - that is a major life change. That is a big reason I procrastinate about moving from the "known" to the "unknown." I want more space than I have renting a room where I am, I want to share an apartment or house, but change is not always easy. So I wonder... are we all in search of the perfect roommate?... and what if it's us? :) We will never know unless we communicate, introduce ourselves, and move forward. I will never know until I stop procrastinating about finding a better place. There is just so little time... how about you? What I am looking for is a compatible honest responsible respectful considerate open minded positive person who can share space comfortably. Location matters to me. I want a place near I4 as I work in downtown Sanford and play ball in Altamonte several times a week. I am looking to share a 2-2 split floorplan as that allows more privacy. I do not want a rent a room in someone's house - I want to share a place and make it home. So who am I... I seek honesty and kindness. I am what I seek. Mutual respect is essential. I am quiet at home, clean, considerate, active in sports & recreation, responsible, reliable, and a kid at heart too busy enjoying life to feed stress or drama. My last roommate (photos) of six years will be happy to answer questions about me. My profession requires a level 2 background check by the feds, so if that helps, feel free to check me out. I find humor in just about everything, but am serious about caring for others and finding a compatible roommate. If you are looking to share a place or want look for one with a hopeful new friend, please write candoor at gmail. Bugs Webbot is me on Facebook - friend me (or spy on me lol... you might like me). My telephone number is there too, feel free to text or call and introduce yourself. Are you my new roommate? Good luck in your search :)

Saturday, January 6, 2018

Three's Company?

Seeing a friendly roommate listing with a phone number in it, but seeking a female in an age range younger than mine, I decided to respond with the following because the listing is ideal... two people looking for a third roommate. That is ideal financially because it opens up almost any area in town in comfortable to luxury places for less, maybe a lot less than what I spend now... but it is very challenging to find.

Maybe they are open minded intelligent girls who have not found what they seek and would be willing to take a chance on me. I'll never know unless I reach out, so here goes:

Hi... I am writing instead of texting so as not to invade your privacy in your phone because I am not female and I am older. I hope you read through before you delete because I am looking for exactly what you are looking for - a respectful safe roommate to keep expenses down because good neighborhoods are expensive these days.

My interest is keeping the rent under $700 a month in a safe, clean, comfortable positive space with respectful, relatively compatible, people. I am not looking for a relationship with you other than a friendly respectful responsible roommate(s). I know how to share comfortable and I know how to respect privacy and space and that is what I look for in roommates.

I might be a last resort, but maybe you need a last resort and that would be great for me, so I figure I'l say hello and let you decide.

So if you feel exhausted searching and have not found the right fit, feel free to interview me, test me, background screen me, ask my friends (my last roommate is in the photos in my profile - she fell in love and I'll dance at her wedding).

I work 8-5ish Mon-Fri, so I am usually out 7-6PM. Five days a week I play softball 3 evenings, not home until late, and both weekend days. I eat out a lot (friends call me a foodie) but also love to cook in a clean kitchen when I have time. At home I write, love music, thoughtful movies, and enjoy some TV (but always keep the volume so only I can hear unless everyone wants to listen to or watch the same thing).

I've worked in health care most of my career as a Paramedic/LPN, Administrator, Quality Director, Risk Manager (currently licensed in Florida), and currently work for Seminole County as the county Safety Officer. Level 2 Federal background checks are part of work life for me and my last one was last January. I have a lot of respect for Nurses - you are the backbone of quality health care.

So you are, in many ways, right for me as roommates. Professionals in a caring profession who understand the benefit and compromise of roommates.

I am right for you as a roommate in every way but gender and age.

If you don't find a female in your current age range, consider talking to me and finding out more. Ask anything, I respect honesty.

Thanks for reading. If you decide not to respond, I hope you find what you are looking for.