The Late Show

Out of the blue I woke in the middle of the night after letting sleep come before 8:00 pm the evening before and I rolled around for a little while realizing I was not falling back to sleep... I wanted to write. So I wrote a letter to J and then, pondering the concept of friends and especially the term BFF, I searched for the words "BFF is BULLSHIT" to see what i could find because I was feeling the feeling at the moment and I found someone agreeing, I think, and after reading most of the words she wrote, I wrote this back to her. I noticed that I typoed her daughter's name and ought to go back and apologize, but then, the entry was from 2012 and she may never see the comment so I apologize here and if she finds the comment on her blog and responds, I'll apologize there if I find out she responded. The fleeting happenstance of commenting on old blog entries after searching for a momentary phrase is a happenchance, if that is such a word. If you know what I mean, good for you. Understanding usually eliminates the next for explanation... and apologies, for that matter.

Anyway, this is today's contribution to this blog of introductions and whatever... a much ore serious entry than this introduction may suggest, in fact, touches of the core of who I am and my fundamental perspective in this life... but expressing it is sometimes so wonderfully hopeful and peaceful and satisfying that the cavalier smile of the hitchhiker setting off to new adventures is findly spreading through the experience and giving pause for smiles and a giggle or few... as I said, understanding, ya know?... long may we run :)

Years after it was written I find this post as I searched... BFF is bullshit. After reading, I disagree with myself lol. And I thank you for that, if you happen to find this comment.

For Grace (and for you) I hope things are better at school, socially, and in life.

I am just finally coming to that point in a relationship where I see rainbows through the tears and remember wise words that Gary Morris sang - 'it's hard to find a new dream, with an old one in your eyes.' Relationships are very much like dreams. Illusions of bonding and sharing and being "one" with someone else.

Reality is that we are all alone in our bodies and minds and can only share an illusion of being 'together' by mutually buying into being 'together' in the moment and by believing the promise that we will stay 'together' for future moments. That is a relationship, with or without romance.

For six years I lived with someone who called me BFF. I smiled and thought to myself, what a cute new way to say 'best friend' as I reminded myself that forever is an ideal dream not to be trusted and yet, after six years, even though there was no romance or promises beyond "BFF" and always staying in touch, I bought into the concept of always being close and in touch. That ended when she fell in love and suddenly, the daily contact was gone except for texts and lately, even those are drifting away and slowing to the occasional emoji.

It seems so strange to call it 'the grieving process', but it is just that. I may have finally reached acceptance this week as I laugh a bit at the duality of genuinely feeling comfortable with 'BFF is bullshit" and 'I want a BFF' in the same breath.

I want the illusion. I want to share the illusion. 'So sue me,' I say to myself as I laugh at the absurdity and simplicity I find in the feeling.

I hope you and Grace find the relationship(s) you seek in life, whatever they may be. Jackson Browne's "The Late Show' plays in my head as I bid you farewell. A few lines that has carried me through many storms in this life. I'll close with two of them now...

"Now to see things clear it's hard enough I know
When you're waiting for reality to show
When you're dreaming of a perfect love and holding it so high above
you can stumble on to something real and never know..."
and...
"Everyone I've ever known has wished me well
Anyway that's how it seems, it's hard to tell
Maybe people only ask you how you're doing
'Cause that's easier than letting on how little they could care
But when you know that you've got a real friend somewhere
Suddenly all the others are so much easier to bear."
May we all find the real friend... the one who knowingly shares the illusion that we are not alone. :)

Another Never Ending Triial

Not actually a trial in the judge and jury courtroom sense, but then, life is a series of judgments based on perceptions that lead to decisions that lead to actions so from that perspective, every moment is a trial. Will I like or not like this or that? Will I like or not like him or her? Will we communicate? Will we continue to communicate? Will we understand each other? Will we be friends?

I seem to be rather incorrigible, still, hopelessly hopefully reaching out to strangers in that hopelessly hopeful hope of finding friends, at least one who will truly understand me at my depths, who will see beyond the surface and reflective pools I sometimes fall into to find my core where the child gleefully plays in timeless wonder and euphoria that I experience simply from the conscious awareness of being alive in this body in this life. All the words do not come close to explaining or expressing me. A few may have seen me, between the lines or in my eyes, but no one today. No one in the now, at least not for sure. I hope out hope for two, but they may not actually know me in conscious reality.

So here is another attempt at starting a conversation. Another message in a bottle. The conversation, if it continues or not, is part of the new blog, for what it's worth, and the second attempt following a positive response to the first attempt linked previously in this paragraph is below. I was past ready for sleep when I found the email that told me I had a message on the pen pal website and the drive to want to share overcame the closing eyes to respond with yet another mostly introductory letter thusly:

Sleepy here. I rebel against ageism and have since I first experienced it at about four years old. When asked for "age" I sometimes respond why? Especially online. Especially if communicating with someone who will likely never share eye contact due to distance. The age hangup is one of the many delusions people use to judge and build walls and put each other in boxes. Delusions are a waste of time.

My mind still thinks it is four years old, my heart feels like it is always seventeen, my soul or anima or whatever it may be called is as ageless as time itself, my spirit is reborn each time I open my eyes and this body has been doing it's best to keep up with me for 61 years. I think I was about 13 when I first wrote that and it remains my most honest response to "how old are you?"

Hey, you asked lol (hope you are laughing more than rolling your eyes or scratching your head) :)

I would have been asleep a few hours ago as I've gotten little sleep this week, but a shoot out and a dozen police cars and ambulances and news vans and half the neighborhood right outside my door kept me away. I live in a ghetto at the moment, yeah, scary out there. I texted the news and a video to a friend who works for a news station and she was appreciative. I am getting past losing my best friend (we were roommates at work (eight years) and at home (six years), that is, she fell in love and doesn't have time for me anymore. I am happy she is in love, just miss her. I mention that because I did not really have anyone I wanted to call and talk to about the war zone outside my door because don't have anyone close these days except for a few people very sensitive friends who do not deal with anxiety well and I want to apologize for adding to your scary view of the world and also thank you for accepting these words so it feels like I have a friend. Not delusion, just hope.

For clarity, the difference between delusion and illusion for me is delusion someone fooling themselves without knowing it. Illusion is someone creating a perspective and perception of belief with full cognitive awareness. Delusions turn off senses and intelligence. Illusions inspire creativity and learning. Delusions put heads in the sand. Illusions keep heads above ground, sometimes in the clouds, sometimes real as it gets. Or something like that.

"Or something like that" is my way of mocking myself when I sound like a know-it-all. Self-mockery keeps my ego in check. I like laughing at myself. Anyway, Illusions are life. Richard Bach had that right.

I love music. http://heartmindsong.blogspot.com that would be the start of a soundtrack for a movie about me if one was to be made. Those songs are songs that represent me, reflect me, and communicate me to myself and to this world. I also use TV shows to distract myself from loneliness. I dive into the illusion of a cast of characters and let them become imaginary friends or even family. It's one way I deal with loneliness and not having any family. Adopted as an infant, never having any biological family and having delusional adopted families, I create family by adopting people. Most people don't understand that because it may not be completely possible to actually understand and feel the experience of not having biological family ties when one has biological family ties. It is a separation of understanding and empathy I live with.

Curiosity asks me to ask who you might wake up? Your consideration inspires my smile. :)

So much more in my head to write
Really must find sleep tonight
Thank you for inspiring me to
want to write these words to you

Once upon a time I snail mailed to more than a hundred pen friends. I published two pen pal magazines in the late 80s and early 90s. Copies are in storage just north of Niagara Falls. They have been in storage along with hundreds of other boxes since 1995. That is a very long story for another time. Back to snail mail, I have rubber stamped and decorated envelopes and filled boxes with goodies and a whole lot more. I haven't sent a letter with a stamp on it in many years. I don't even write checks and mail payments, everything is electronic. I don't know if that sort of glee will return at the moment for a few reasons, but primarily because of my living situation. Another long story (shorter than others) for another time.

I will find mail at candoor@gmail.com faster than I will here.

Over the last two decades my faith in people and my hope for finding people I can truly trust unconditionally has waned to, at times, frightening proportions. A whole lot of abandonment, betrayal, and some abuse from my first breaths has lead me here. I am still hopelessly hopeful, I just forget I am sometimes lately.

Most of the time I am in a giddy euphoria inside. It's when I look outside that I can feel depressed. Linda Ronstadt singing "You Tell Me That I'm Falling Down" comes to mind a lot lately. I love my world. :)

So here's a little more about me. Tell me about you? Start anywhere and keep going as long as you like.

I appreciate the inspiration you provided :)

Maybe the inspiration will continue...

there's always hope...

Narf :)

Try Try Again

This time I try a brief hello. Different than most might, certainly, but I still must be me as I do not want to mislead anyone into thinking I am something I am not. I am different than anyone I've ever met, I know it, and the words, even when brief, should reflect that. Sometimes the words do that more than other times. I think this brief introduction might do better than others. Hope remains that a response will follow and then, more.

Are you my mother? lol... It is a reference to a book I read as a child and comes to mind as I read your words in your profile because they so much of what a lot of this life experience has been for me. Hopefully you're laughing too. I am busy enjoying life, yet still want to share more. If I don't return here you can find me at candoor.net and candoor@gmail.com and even on Facebook, sort of lol. May life bring you more smiles than frowns and yes, let's leave this sadly confused world a better place for everyone :)

Another Pen Pal Introduction

Hi :)

Scrolling down the members page at PenPal world I find your words and face and think to myself, 'really?... someone like me?... that would be a pleasant rarity.'

That was only slightly sarcastic, mostly hopeful and maybe even serious. Sarcasm is the playground for intelligent minds. Sadly, some insecure people use sarcasm as a defense mechanism, some times being mean, and that gives sarcasm a bad name. Your face suggests you don't want to be mean (but sometimes some people make that challenging cuz, well, there are a whole lot of closed minded ignorant people in this world. Laughing, joking, and moving along feels a whole lot better than getting upset or angry.

I read your words and felt like I could have written them. I probably have somewhere along the way in this life. I've written a lot for myself, in letters to friends, in blogs, for work, for fun. Writing is my favorite hobby. It is creative play and learning how I think and feel and therapy and communication and more.

Words and music are a refuge and way to express myself. Listen to Billy Joel's 'Honesty' and Elton John's 'Believe' and the Carpenters 'Need to Be in Love' and John Lennon's 'Imagine' and... wanna know me?... I hope you will listen and read and respond... here is a starting point you can explore at your leisure, dive in as deep as you'd like....
http://heartmindsong.blogspot.com/
http://thevidme.blogspot.com/
http://rhetroric.blogspot.com/

So I liked your profile words. Thank you for the smile it inspired. :)

I look at your photo and wonder if I see understanding and wisdom (my hope) or just a cute innocent person. You can be both, but understanding and wisdom is much more preferable in a pen friend - or any friend.

Some people read my words and tell me I complain. I believe they do not understand me or my writing process. So hoping you still might want to know me, I'll explain and hope you ask for clarity if my explanation is not clear.

I feel. I feel and experience life. I am open to everything. I process all my sensory input and express my observations and reactions. I vent (through writing) the negativity that comes in. There is a lot of negativity out there in this world. I do not ignore it or shut it out, I let it all in (at least as much as I can without hurting myself too much, I mean, feeling the starving children and the innocents dying in wars and the hate and fear causing so much harm in this world is painful) and try to understand it. Writing helps me understand and accept life as it is (and ultimately love it with all it's imperfections). Writing also allows me to dream of what life can be.

One of my goals in this life is to help others, to do something in each moment that inspires a smile and good feeling. I've met people to take advantage of that. My friends do not. I have many acquaintances and friends, but few close friends.

Lately I have felt the hunger to correspond with others again, not just to write in my blogs, but to find some new friends through the written word. So here we are. It starts simply... will you be my friend? :)

I welcome you into my world and hope you find me interesting and/or amusing enough to spark your curiosity enough to respond.

Ask anything, I am an open book. Tell me who you are - anything you feel comfortable sharing is welcome. Write little, write a lot, as you wish.

Hope to hear from you :)

My profile on PenPalWorld (1000 characters is not enough lol):
http://www.penpalworld.com/profile.asp?uid=11305694

hl,
ric

A Whole New Pen Pal World?

Oh sure, the hopelessly hopeful romantic simply must slip a song reference in the title (hi PJ, wherever you are), but seriously the message I sent on that pen pal website included in the last entry actually was responded to in email and it inspired a whole new blog that might have been called Breathing (and still might, if I ever get around to taking publishing seriously) that shall showcase (ok, collect) the correspondence that blooms from that pen pal website (the ones you cn read here that actually turn into a correspondence you can read there... clever organization, no doubt?). Are the letters worth reading? You can decide for yourself.

Meanwhile, a second message in a bottle was tossed into those pen pal world seas and for your edification and reading pleasures, here it is (I suppose I should not that it was an impulsive message left on the site in response to a profile that said she was sad):

Hug for the sad, hope you find your smile again soon.

I had no intention of leaving any messages, but if a few words from a stranger might help you be a little less sad then I accomplished something tonight. It seems cheesy to say "I hope you find your smile again soon because it is a beautiful smile," but hey, the picture on your profile shows a beautiful smile, so maybe cheesy will help. Say cheesy?

I see Ali McGraw in your smile, in case you know who who she is and in case it matters. I am not trying to be randomly amusing, but it it happens, well, we can share credit and enjoy it.

I may never return to this site, joining yesterday on an impulse and being rather sketchy in my internet travels. For instance, after 10 years on Facebook I might visit there once a month now, or less.

Sometimes I check email. candoor@gmail.com

I seek friends, though find people rather challenging to believe or trust. I think that is mostly because I know one form of love and that is unconditional and that is abused a lot. There is some sad for you.

Still, there is a child inside who believes in John Lennon's "Imagine" even as there's a cynic inside with a thumb up in the air hoping to be picked up by some passing alien freighter. Ah, the hopelessly hopeful romantic sci-fi brain saves me every time. Robert Heinlein's "Time Enough For Love" - a top ten at least. "Hook" "The Princess Bride" "Terminator 2" "V For Vendetta" "ET" "Random Harvest" "Tale of Two Cities" and dozens more. The Moody Blues, Beatles, Billy Joel, Pink Floyd, Jackson Browne, Melissa Etheridge, Harry Chapin, hundreds more.

Random interests that fill my core with inspiration and hope.

Foodie, seriously.

So if I haven't inspired your smile, perhaps I offered enough distraction to help you forget you were sad for a moment. Until now. Ooops.

Maybe the typos will amuse.

Laugh and the world laughs with you - but you don't have to cry alone when you have a friend.

I sincerely will try not to let weeks go by if you respond. Keep in mind that a hundred years ago, weeks was fast service for mail.

I care, it's what I do, that's why I wrote. I know, I'm strange like this, but I am real. I conclude singing Charlie Chaplin's "Smile" ... hoping you do :)

pen pal world

So I woke after a 4 hour nap and found myself wondering about something so when sleep didn't immediately return I rolled my chair out of the closet and checked email and sought amusement and inspiration and... decided to try to find another correspondent because sometimes one is not enough for an insatiable babbler. Though I visited pen-pal sites before, I am not sure I ever joined one but lo and behold I am now a member of penpalworld and since you want to know, here is my profile/introduction to that online community (they wisely have a 1000 character limit and do not have any other places to ramble on about anything else):

I love words, writing, and sharing. Time is precious and I may not be here often, but I write daily (blogs and one lifelong pen-friend). Open minded free-thinkers who seek caring positive words are welcome. Creativity is encouraged. Reach past the surface stereotypes. What matters is how you feel and what you think, not your age, sex, nationality, religion, or any other meaningless judgmental labels. Try to trust. Be real.

I am disappointed with humanity today because fear dominates thought and insecurity dominates action. It leads to destruction and suicidal behavior. I still have hope we will survive our childhood and adolescence to develop into a mature species interested in living, learning, and loving life.

I seek people who empower love over fear, who rise above the inherent insecurity, and who strive to leave the shackles of delusion and judgment behind.

With that, I started exploring profiles and after an hour or some few hundred profiles, I found the profile of my dreams (not really, but I did find a profile inspiring me to respond so here is that response for your edification or titillating pleasure... pandering to the search engines, how bohemian of me... and misusing words too, aweful, aye?)

I am the one who left this comment on penpalworld:

Wonderful words of introduction - thank you for inspiring my smile and curiosity. I do know how precious time is - and honesty. The human world is truth wrapped in a lie. I seek the few daring to peel away the what is accepted to explore what can be.

I joined an hour ago, give or take a few minutes. Yours is the first profile I found any interest in responding to. It is late here and I must sleep soon. The past two weeks have been busy with work as I am in Florida, USA, and we experienced a Hurricane. My job as safety officer for the county left little time for sleep.

Still, I napped a few hours and found myself awake and writing. Writing is my solitary release between naps and whenever I have a few minutes to myself. Mostly I babble which some view as a waste of time, but then, it is my meditation and brings me peace and pleasure. Lately, as my blogs demonstrate, I have had so little time for words. That is probably what brought me to look for inspiration from others.

A moment is forever, yet so many moments are overlooked as we rush through our lives to meet some deadlines or goals that have so little to do with our true nature, dreams, or happiness. Pay the bills, alas, at the cost of our individuality, creativity, and humanity. When if comes to my view of the world outside of my head, I have fallen into a cynical web of disillusionment and despair. Once I had so much hope.

Inside my head, the child dances and sings, gleefully enjoying the experience of living each moment. So few understand me and most reject or try to suppress me so I've learned to keep my distance. From early childhood I've felt ancient in so many ways while still blissful in just being alive. As with the babbling I do, playing with words, it is all relative.

I hope you do not mind typos... even when I am not physically exhausted, I often do not proof-read my babblings and have learned to find much amusement in the mys-typed words. If they disturb you in any way, please let me know and I shall make the time to edit (even if it leaves less time for the free flow of writing).

A picture may be worth a thousand words, but a thousand words can be so much more fun to play with for me. A face does communicate a lot, so I shall endeavor to find a photo of my face in case you are curious (or would you rather enjoy the mystery?... well, if I find the photo, I apologies if you'd rather have had mystery for a while) :)

You can find me on Facebook as Bugs Webbot. I created the profile more than 10 years ago when putting real names and personal information online was frowned upon and the name stuck. I seldom have time to visit social media these days, but years of photos and communications can be browsed there.

I sense it matters little to you, but my age is (I have to pause to count the years and laugh as I do) 61. I do not put my birthday online as a precaution against identify theft and chose the date I use in profiles many years ago (with reason we can explore another time if you like).

Honesty is my highest ideal and doing no harm is my chosen way. Love is my faith and curiosity my primary motivation to continue exploring this life. Helping others is one of my greatest pleasures in spite of the usury and abuse many seem to do our of insensitivity, insecurity, greed, and blind following of superficial stereotypes.

I am a hopelessly hopeful romantic dreamer believing in kindness, gentleness, and caring while wearing a cloak of realistic acceptance of the current state of humanity as a socially necessary facade and shield. I sigh at the world outside my head while laughing at the experience within.

Repetition is amusing to me, as life is constantly changing repetition. This reveals itself in my babbling (perhaps you've noticed). Few people respond to my letters for so many good and valid reasons, but the few who do appreciate the meandering mind and genuine person within the massive missives.

friends are few for the honest heart
for fear undermines good intentions
love is the peace every life form seeks
but usually with honorable mentions
power and control seem to be the way
most choose to interact with each other
someday i hope we will all understand
sharing caring is how to discover
the joy and purpose of life...
my sister, I am your brother
I think in rhythms and feel in rhymes (or vice versa) and songs play in my head sometimes. Now and then, something worth reading (or hearing) emerges, much to my surprise and amusement. Based on the words in your profile, I hope to hear/read what goes on in your head.

Too much? Well, there's always hope (I hope) :)

hl,
ric

So whatcha think?... will this meandering hello find a rare response or shall it slip into the annals of history like so many other letters in bottles flowing on uncharted seas somewhere out there?

Place your bets... there's always hope (I hope) :)

Narf too :)


PS... and it did :)

Roommates Are Like Personals

And isn't that what this blog is about (reminding ourselves, are we?), introducing myself by sharing the words inspired by public personals and other sites that are all about introductions. Hello, this is who I am, I sincerely hope you love me. Honest love, Me.

Yeah, that ought to work.

Meanwhile, in the real world, I remain alone. Perhaps I shall have better luck finding a roommate than a soulmate. So I set out on a mission to cut my expenses and find a compatible roommate (who can compare with the last one, alas, she was an ideal roommate for me, very similar core values, personalities, interests, wants and needs, and no romantic entanglements. Nothing like finding a kind, gentle, gay woman child to be a best friend. And that was the real world.

Meanwhile, in today's reality. My best friend fell in love and she's planning to propose to her partner and I'm like a proud poppa, but I need a new roommate because it's cheaper by the dozen (wow, imagine a dozen roommates all compatible. What a wonderful savings that would be). Well, I'll settle for it's cheaper for two to share space and have more space for less money and so on.

I've written a few dozen messages on the roommate dot com website and then, this came along:

Hi Potential Roommate,

I am renting a room in small Sanford in a small house (most of my stuff is in storage) and waiting (and hoping) the right roommate comes along to share a place. I moved up here from Altamonte to be closer to work after my last roommate fell in love and moved in with her partner early last year. She will tell you all about what living with me is like if you want a second opinion :)

I've not been looking for a roommate until recently, but have decided I'd rather have a roommate than live alone or rent a room in someone's house. Two bed two bath split floor plan with an honest, considerate, relatively clean and friendly person works for me. More space, less cost, and it would be great to live with someone who has similar interests and can enjoy some time at home (not a prerequisite, not seeking romance, not an angry aggressive slob). I've been lucky to have lived with a best friend most of the last two decades.. I don't expect that to be the case again, but it would be nice if we were lucky enough to share interests and become friends... I'm a dreamer sometimes lol).

I work 8-5 Mon Fri (plus on call 24/7) as Safety Officer for Seminole County. I took a big step down from a career standpoint in order to have a lot less professional responsibility and I am enjoying less stress and more time for me. I play softball a lot (currently Monday and Friday evenings, Saturday afternoon, and Sunday I am at the fields most of the day, though that league only has a few weeks left in the Spring season). I did have weekly cards/games nights with friends on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays (Baldwin Park, Metro West, and Chuliota) until I moved up to Sanford and the drive has me skipping some of those.

A busy life and a lot of friends to play with actually makes the quiet relaxation time at home watching a movie, a TV show, or listening to music all the more enjoyable. I did more of that in the years with my last roommate but am out a lot more since renting a room.

Time for this next understatement. I'm rambling. I write a lot. I also laugh at myself a lot. Self-mockery is good therapy for me, as is writing :)

We all need something we like to do that has the added benefit of keeping us grounded and internally organized and that is what writing does for me. If you enjoy reading babbling nonsense, overblown drama, and rambling self-indulgent sophistry (with a dose of pathetic whining and meaningless complaints aimed at the universe from time to time - do you know Douglas Adams or Robert Heinlein? Two of my favorites. Dr. Seuss is too. As is Stephen King. Let's not start me on music, but Harry Chapin is #1 there... have we fallen into a parenthetic aside? It happens. At least the ellipses have not entered the picture...), you'll just love my written world. The few people who do (I blog and correspond with a few dear far away friends... once upon a time I published a small magazine for pen-pals) are amazing and I don't expect anyone to, so ultimately we don't even have to be sharing much beyond rent and utilities if you prefer that. I can sit quietly typing with headphones on for hours and you wouldn't even know I was there. I'm adaptable.

Heck, if you are still reading then I love you already lol. Thank you for being curious or caring or both.

Here is me in a nutshell, in case you want to know (this is where friends crack nut jokes, like a nutshell, the perfect home for a nut like you). But seriously, I give away a whole lot more than I get and love the feeling of giving and helping people. That's part of the core of who I am. If you want to know me, just ask and I'll provide whatever I know about myself. Honesty is my highest ideal and what I respect most along with kindness, peacefulness, open minds, and caring. That is the most serious sentence I've written here.

This may be a whole lot more than you ever wanted to know about a potential roommate... or maybe you are wise and realize the more we know about the person sleeping in the next room, the better off we are. Finding a kind gentle person to trust is not always an easy task. Even finding a good sense of humor can be easier. Maybe I should just get a dog. I had a dog once. Her name was Happy. She had trouble paying her share of the rent. If you are laughing, I really hope you respond.

I kept Happy in spite of her irresponsible nature.

Ok, what about the location/place? Sanford or Lake Mary would be ideal for me. I think a two bedroom two bath split floor plan works best for two people. I'd like to keep rent to as close to $1200 as possible. I can afford more, but I'd rather save money and enjoy other things (isn't that why we want a roommate?).

A question I asked has just been answered. There is a character limit. Editing is like pruning flowers, it can be so sad.

You may see another message from me very shortly. I hope you read this first, but maybe being out of order will make more sense lol.

Hope

That is where the 5000 character limit cut me off. I lost the words over 5000. Probably a hundred or few. Life is so unfair. I also found three typos. I'm not illiterate, I just don't correct typos much. I did above for this blog post, but only because blogger made that easy.

This was part of the part that the roommate site cut out:

Hello again :)

The other message was written first, but read them in the order that pleases you. The character limit tried to stop me, but I am not just a hopeful child, I am a stubborn child and I will not let the limits of this website deprive you of the ending to this massive missive meandering along on it's merry way, so...

I can go on all night trying to guess what you might want to know (am I selling myself? Poorly, perhaps lol). I'll go respond to a letter waiting for a response now. Is there a character limit here? Now it's your turn to give me a thumbs up or down or continue the conversation. I'm not counting words, so a simple yes, no, or let's meet and talk is fine. I take rejection very well on the surface (laughing?... hey, I really am a hopeful child inside) :)

If I was not staying six short blocks from work at the moment, I'd probably have taken a 2-2 place and looked more seriously for a roommate, but six blocks from work, come on lol. I am open to looking at houses too, if we share the chores :)

My name is Ric Candor. Please don't call me Mr. Candor. You can find me as Bugs Webbot on Facebook (long story). Also Ric Held on Facebook (longer story). In case you want to check me out there before responding (see how hopeful I am? I believe you may still respond even after all this babble. If you are laughing or at least smiling, let's be friends even if we're not roommates. Just tell me to stop if that is your wish).

You've never had a friend like me :)

Ric
407-325-1482
candoor@gmail.com

Whatever you decide to to, make your dreams come true, enjoy life, and may you find and create more smiles than frowns along your way. :)

Now how can anyone like me resist that? Wait, am I asking how could anyone like me? Maybe I am asking how can anyone resist me? A lot of people have amazing will power I guess. Yeah, and I've got my fantasies.

I found two more people I could fall in love with, I mean potential roommates, and sent the next two little ditties to them:

I just wrote to someone on this site and it exceeded the character limit so I shall try to be brief (maybe brief works lol).

My name is Ric Candor. Bugs Webbot on Facebook (long story). Also Ric Held on Facebook (longer story). In case you want to check me out there before responding. What more do you want to know (beyond my profile here)?

Honesty is my highest ideal and what I respect most along with kindness, peacefulness, open minds, and caring. If you want to know me, just ask and I'll provide whatever I know about myself. I give a whole lot more than I get and love the feeling of giving and helping people. That's me in a nutshell (friends would insert a joke about that {a nutshell} being where I belong... feel free to laugh).

Whatever you decide to to, make your dreams come true, enjoy life, and may you find and create more smiles than frowns along your way. :)


Ric
407-325-1482
candoor@gmail.com

If you love to read, I just wrote to someone on this site and it exceeded the character limit, but since we don't know each other and you might not love to read, I shall try to be brief (maybe brief works lol).

My name is Ric Candor. Bugs Webbot on Facebook (long story). Also Ric Held on Facebook (longer story). In case you want to check me out there before responding. What more do you want to know (beyond my profile here)?

Honesty is my highest ideal and what I respect most along with kindness, peacefulness, open minds, and caring. If you want to know me, just ask and I'll provide whatever I know about myself. I give a whole lot more than I get and love the feeling of giving and helping people. That's me in a nutshell (friends would insert a joke about that {a nutshell} being where I belong... feel free to laugh). Feel free to be a friend.

Whatever you decide to to, make your dreams come true, enjoy life, and may you find and create more smiles than frowns along your way. :)

Ric
407-325-1482
candoor@gmail.com

Ok, so maybe you can tell me where my perfect roommate is hiding?

Narf :)