Tweaking the Fish

Updating the Plenty of Fish profile. In progress.

A word that best describes me? Nonsense lol. I am seriously irreverently serious. A dozen are accurate, so any one is inaccurate, yet that is the nature of social relationships. Labels, categories, boxes. If you fall for that prejudicial pretense of knowing someone, we probably won't be close friends.

Words may be a waste of time for we will never know each other through words alone, no less through just a few (hundred), but I do love words so here we are. Most of my friends know some part of me, but no one today knows more than half of my personality or interests because that takes time. I have lots of activity friends, no best friends. You are someone who will share that time it takes to become friends. Be open, honest, willing, and able to share yourself or we'll be wasting time - please do not pretend.

In this life, I find friendly conversation with most anyone, however rarely do I find truly intimate compatibility on any level. Intimacy i not sexuality in this sense, I've been asexual for many years and am not looking for a sexual fling. I seek to share intellect and emotions more than anything else, for the body is way too easy to share and please. Sexuality is too often misinterpreted as compatibility or even falling in love and I think that is the biggest mistake people make when interacting. I believe that the more you overcome your fears in healthy and positive ways, the better you will be able to share yourself.

If this profile will allow a link, then http://candoor.net is one way to know me. There you'll find a lot of words that detail my interests, including dozens of 'blogs', some personal some play some just kept like filing cabinets online. I've been writing since I could first hold a crayon. I love music of many genre from the Beatles (old and well known) to Meg & Dia (new and little known), from hard rock to show tunes and much in between. Songwriters: Harry Chapin, Jackson Browne, Pink Floyd, and John Lennon wrote words that are part of my psyche, as did Melissa Etheridge, Billy Joel, John Denver, Paul Simon, Tim Rice, Justin Hayward, Bernie Taupin, Stevi Nicks, Bob Dylan, and so many others. While lyrics may be my first love, musical journeys span from classical to heavy metal.

So I love words, writing, reading, communicating and playing with them. I love stories that stretch the imagination and challenge the status quo, such as science fiction and sociological allegories. I play softball in leagues a few times a week, each. Love of self is reflected in the body and if you are not loving yourself, I hope you start soon.I with share motivation as I can use some too. I enjoy some tv, especially when a friend enjoys a show with me. I used to watch a few shows with my roommate each week and I miss that. I love live theater, live music, life. I love to sing, ah, if only there were a hundred hours in each day.

My weekends are as busy as I want them to be as I have different groups of friends for my diverse interests (gee, I almost sound popular). Some days I stay home relaxing with tv, book, youtube, reading web pages, or some geeky activity involving computers or other gadgets. I do not drink or take any drugs to get high anymore (I've tried them all long ago so I don't condemn or preach as I once enjoyed chemically induced alternative consciousnesses, I can just get there internally now because, after all, the brain does it all anyway).

My primary goal in this life has always been to live honestly without harm and most of the time I achieve it (nobody's perfect - and who wants to be nobody, ya know?). Sharing life with a partner who shares everything is a goal I've not achieves, though I've had long relationships that have come close. I am very happy within myself, enjoy life alone, and love sharing with others. I am looking for someone who fits me as I fit them. That may not happen in this life, but I remain a hopeful child :)

Still reading?... ah, see, there is hope :)

This site, like most, limits the accuracy of profiles with fixed pull down menus. It refused to let me leave "birth parents" blank. I was adopted, so the question is moot. Another inaccuracy is my date of birth. I will not provide online profiles with a date of birth for that makes identity theft too easy. If it matters, I am an Aries and the year is one year off. I work in a sensitive job in the public sector and must maintain some distance between my online activities and my professional life. Ask me face to face and I will explain more. See, I can be serious too :)

This site suggests that I point out what makes me unique. Probably have too much already? (ah, I love self-mockery, but you might have noticed by now). I have no need for the common crutches and communal supports that most people seem to need in this life. As I see it, religion is a dangerous delusion that provokes and provides justification for more harm than any other single concept in human history or daily life. Politics is mostly for control freaks and there are way too many fighting for control due to their insecurities, greed, and other inadequacies. While I disagree with some of what George Carlin said on the subjects, he articulated many opinions that makes sense to me and there is more wisdom in his words than in most humans I've listened to. Harry Chapin too. I respect some human fears, but do not share many. I think clothing is a pretense people hide behind, like makeup and titles and money and other masks, to cover up their fear of being real. I see people pretend all the time. I sense the realness within and feel sad they try so hard to hide it. I don't want to hurt anyone, but I see people hurting themselves all the time and when intimate, I will not ignore self-harm or remain silent about it because remaining silent about it is not my way (silent acceptance of harm is harm). I am far from perfect, but I am internally self-actualized and aware when I want to be. I am told that it is challenging to relate to me because I am "too" something - diverse, innocent, idealistic, intelligent, energetic, child-like, eclectic, stubborn, strong, sensitive, open, honest, intense, different, simple, complex, out there). Wordy? lol. The one I seek is out there with me :)

I am known as Bugs Webbot on facebook and candor on myspace the links on those pages will tell you more about me. The simplest way to know me is just ask. My approach to these social networking websites (and I’ve tried hundreds over the years) is - if I find a friend here, wonderful. If I find someone who might become a partner in life, amazing... I hope you amaze me :)

Whatever you do, may you give it your all and create more smiles than frowns along the way :)


This is continued from above because of character limits on this site...

What does ambition even mean to you? They force us to select too many labels here and that provides an inaccurate profile, but I mentioned that already, didn't I? Land of the free, ha lol :)

Ok, so at first I selected "other relationship" from the list above because I have friends, but don't have a best friend. I can find a lover (as Billy Joel sang), but do not have an intimate partner. I have dreams, but do not have a soulmate in life today. I am looking for people who can relate to me more closely, intimately, universally, and hopefully one person will feel the same partnership with me that I seek. I selected "a few extra pounds" once because I am more comfortable with less weight on this body than I have today, but I am also able to run around with kids regularly playing ball..I love food, so there is a balance to be found.

On a purely physical level (which is not what I seek, but you may wish to know), I respect healthy fitness and that is attractive for me. Flab and fat are not because they are signs of unhealthy laziness or even self-abuse..Be honest in your love. I strongly suggest that if you feel fat, flabby, or old (on any level, physically, emotionally, intellectually, ethereally), then focus your energy on improving your feeling about yourself before you look for self-esteem outside of yourself. I hope you actualize love for yourself in every way.

So I switched to "Friends" because that is where any truly meaningful relationship must begin (wild passionate sex is not a complete enough relationship for me, no matter how perfectly passionate and fun. If you want to turn on my libido and only my libido, you probably will not get what you want, but you can try cuz, as the Stones sang, sometimes... if you fit the narrow libido fantasy, that is... we can mock libido and ego all we want when we are friends :)

Dating? I don't think I've ever been on a what most people seem to call date in this life. My few close relationships started by chance meeting through work or through friendly gatherings. The time for sharing sensual pleasures, for me, is after we are close friends. Whether in the ambiance of a favorite restaurant or with the sand sliding between our toes on a secluded beach or immersed in the excitement of any favorite activity - or intimate stimulation of our senses, I am open, but cautious. We can prove how much we care about each other after we know each other well enough to know we care for each other, anytime before that is pretense. I don't do pretense well at all. Call it a social flaw.

I want to know your awkward pauses. I want to know you and I want you to know me without the games or pretenses or rituals. All I ask is that you do not intentionally cause harm or avoid sharing yourself without telling me. Stay honest above all else.