plentyoffish profile

Words may be a waste of time for we will never know each other through words alone, no less through just a few (hundred), but I do love words so here we are. Most of my friends know some part of me, but no one today knows more than half of my personality or interests because that takes time. You are someone who will share that time. Be open, honest, willing, and able to share everything about you completely or we'll be wasting time - please do not pretend.

In this life I find friendly conversation with most anyone, however rarely do I find truly intimate compatibility on any level. I seek to share intellect and emotions first, for the body is way too easy to share and please. Sexuality is too often misinterpreted as compatibility or even falling in love and I think that is the biggest mistake people make when interacting. I believe that the more you overcome your fears in healthy and positive ways, the better you will be able to share yourself.

If this profile will allow a link, then http://candoor.net is one way to know me. There you'll find a lot of words that detail my interests, including dozens of 'blogs', some personal some play some just kept like filing cabinets online. I've been writing since I could first hold a crayon. I love music of many genre from the Beatles (old and well known) to Meg & Dia (new and little known), from hard rock to show tunes and much in between. Songwriters: Harry Chapin, Jackson Browne, Pink Floyd, and John Lennon wrote words that are part of my psyche, as did Melissa Etheridge, Billy Joel, John Denver, Paul Simon, Tim Rice, Justin Hayward, Bernie Taupin, Stevi Nicks, Bob Dylan, and so many others. While lyrics may be my first love, musical journeys span from classical to heavy metal. I love words, writing, reading, communicating and playing with them. I love stories that stretch the imagination and challenge the status quo, such as science fiction and sociological allegories. I play softball in leagues and basketball with friends a few times a week, each. Love of self is reflected in the body and if you are not loving yourself, I hope you start soon. I enjoy some tv, especially when a friend enjoys a show with me so I watch a few shows with my roommate each week. I love live theatre, live music, life. I love to sing, ah, if only there were a hundred hours in each day.

My weekends are as busy as I want them to be as I have different groups of friends for my diverse interests (gee, I almost sound popular). Some days I stay home relaxing with tv, book, youtube, reading web pages, or some geeky activity involving computers or other gadgets. I occasionally have a glass of wine or beer at dinner. I do not drink or take any drugs to get high anymore (I've tried them all so I'm not opposed to chemically induced alternative consciousnesses, I can just do it internally now cuz after all, the brain does it all anyway).

My primary goal has always been to live honestly without harm and most of the time I achieve it (nobody's perfect and who wants to be nobody, ya know?). Sharing life with a partner who shares everything is a goal I've achieved a couple of times and one I'd very much like to share again, however I am very happy within myself and enjoy life alone and with friends. I am looking for someone who fits me as I fit them. That may not happen again in this life, but I remain a hopeful child :)

Still reading?... ah, see, there is hope :)

This site, like most, limits the accuracy of profiles with fixed pull down menus. It refused to let me leave "birth parents" blank. I was adopted, so the question is moot. Another inaccuracy is my date of birth. I will not provide online profiles with a date of birth for that makes identity theft too easy. If it matters, I am an Aries and the year is one year off. I work in a sensitive job in the health care field and must maintain some distance between my online activities and my professional life. Ask me face to face and I will explain more. See, I can be serious too :)

This site suggests I point out what makes me unique. Probably have too much already? (ah, I love self-mockery, but you might have noticed by now). I have no need for the common crutches and communal supports that most people seem to need in this life. As I see it, religion is a dangerous delusion that provokes and provides justification for more harm than any other single concept in human history or daily life. Politics is mostly for control freaks and there are way too many fighting for control due to their insecurities, greed, and other inadequacies. While I disagree with some of what George Carlin said on the subjects, he articulated many opinions that makes sense to me and there is more wisdom in his words than in most humans I've listened to. I respect some human fears, but do not share many. I think clothing is a pretense people hide behind, like makeup and titles and money and other masks, to cover up their fear of being real. I see people pretend all the time. I sense the realness within and feel sad they try so hard to hide it. I don't want to hurt anyone, but I see people hurting themselves all the time and when intimate, I will not ignore self-harm or remain silent about it because remaining silent about it is not my way (silent acceptance of harm is harm). I am far from perfect, but I am internally self-actualized and aware when I want to be. I am told that it is challenging to relate to me because I am "too" something - diverse, innocent, idealistic, intelligent, energetic, child-like, eclectic, stubborn, strong, sensitive, open, honest, intense, different, simple, complex, out there). The one I seek is out there with me :)

I am known as Bugs Webbot on facebook and candor on myspace the links on those pages will tell you more about me. The simplest way to know me is just ask. My approach to these social networking websites (and I’ve tried hundreds over the years) is - if I find a friend here, wonderful. If I find someone who might become a partner in life, amazing... I hope you amaze me :)

Whatever you do, may you give it your all and create more smiles than frowns along the way :)


This is continued from above because of character limits on this site...

At first I selected "other relationship" from the list above because I have friends, but don't have a best friend. I can find a lover (as Billy Joel sang), but do not have an intimate partner. I have dreams, but do not have a soulmate in life today. I am looking for people who can relate to me more closely, intimately, universally, and hopefully one person will feel the same partnership with me that I seek. I selected "a few extra pounds" because I am more comfortable with less weight on this body than I have today. I love food, so there is a balance to be found. Before I will return to being sexually intimate, I will lose a few and do a few thousand sit-ups (my softball team will love me even more lol... and that might be the same for you) On a purely physical level, healthy fitness is attractive for me, flab and fat are not because they are signs of laziness or even self-abuse... be honest in your love. I strongly suggest that if you feel fat, flabby, or old (on any level, physically, emotionally, intellectually, ethereally), then focus your energy on improving your feeling about yourself before you focus outside of yourself. Please actualize love for yourself in every way before you try to love me (it won't work any other way).

So I switched to "Friends" because that is where any truly meaningful relationship must begin (wild passionate sex is not a relationship, no matter how perfectly passionate and fun... if you want to turn on my libido and only my libido, you probably will not get what you want, but you can try cuz, as the Stones sang, sometimes... if you fit the narrow libido fantasy, that is... we can mock libido and ego all we want when we are friends :)

I don't think I've ever been on a what most people seem to call date in this life. Every relationship I recall has started by chance meeting or through friendly gatherings. If you are into rituals or elaborate movie romance scenes, watch movies. The time for sharing sensual pleasures in the ambience of a favorite restaurant or with the sand sliding between our toes on a secluded beach or immersed in the excitement of any favorite activity or intimate stimulation of our senses is after we know we want to be friends. We can prove things to each other when it matters, not as strangers, after we know how to do that for each other.

From my experiences and observations, what most people usually do in first meetings is distract themselves with social formalities, rituals, and even pretentious games to help ease the way through the awkward pauses. I want to know your awkward pauses, I want to know you and I want you to know me without the games or pretenses or rituals. So you choose what we shall do as you wish and all I ask is that you do not intentionally avoid sharing yourself and that you stay honest, especially if that means saying it's time to go. Be honestly excited to get to know a n . . .

(and still it was cut off)

plentyoffish relationship needs assessment

plentyoffish relationship test says it ” This assessment determines what you need in a relationship across nine key factors:”

Interdependence Intimacy
Self-Efficacy Relationship Readiness
Communication Conflict Resolution
Sexuality Attitudes About Love
Preferred Expressions of Affection

And goes on to say:

Your report gives you valuable feedback on each of these factors in several special ways. Based on your unique answer patterns, you first receive a synopsis of what you need in a relationship on each factor. To help you address these issues in actual practice, your report also contains a customized set of questions for you to consider asking or exploring with potential dating partners to determine the degree to which a person may meet those unique needs. In other words, you have guidance for understanding and exploring what it takes for someone to be “relationship material” with you.
Finally, the assessment reveals any specific issues that you seemed especially to under-value or over-value. These are likes and dislikes that are often hidden from your awareness, but they can strongly affect your relationship decisions. Enjoy your report, contemplate the information and insights it provides and good luck in applying the results here at the Plenty of Fish community!

Plenty of Fish’s unique “Relationship Needs Assessment.”

Interdependence

Interdependence refers to how much you need dependency or a “couple identity” with your partner. You are highly interdependent in relationships. This means that you desire – and perhaps even demand – a substantial degree of physical and emotional connection with a partner and other loved ones. Those connections and interactions can be frequent and superficial or they can be deep and meaningful. And you are probably attracted quickly to someone who you can deeply respect and even emulate to a degree. In fact, it is typical for a person in this score range to consider how a particular romantic partner might reflect on his/her own family and friends. All of this does not mean that you do not need personal space now and then; nearly everyone values being unique and different from others in some respects. However, people in this range draw considerable strength, comfort and sense of identity from close relationships. You like to know about virtually all aspects of your partner’s life. Thus, when you feel close to someone this person becomes an extremely important part of who you are on the inside and outside. You probably prefer that you and your partner’s recreational activities be shared together since you like having your partner physically close and desire showing off your “couplehood” in public. Bottom line: you need someone who responds to the fact that you enjoy the reassurance of physical contact and emotional sharing, but who helps keeps dependency in check in the relationship so that you two do not lose your identities as individuals and whose character is deserving of your loyalty and affection.

Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use “as is” or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your “interdependency” needs with potential partners:

“What degree of possessiveness do you think is healthy in a relationship?”
“Tell me all about your philosophy or view on PDAs (‘Public Displays of Affection’) “
“On any typical night out with your friends, would you prefer to have your partner there with you or not?”

Food for Thought! PlentyofFish wants you to know about some idiosyncrasies the assessment identified in you. These are issues for you to contemplate on your own or explore with a professional relationship/dating coach.

Issues you seem to Under-value

A main consideration in choosing a romantic partner is how he/she would reflect on my family. Possible reasons you responded this way include negative motivations and positive motivations. On the negative side, it could mean that you tend not to consider your family’s comfort level or feelings or that you ignore issues of compatibility between your family and potential partner. On the positive side, it could mean that you tend not to be enmeshed with your family, that you are not overly susceptible to social pressures or that you are not superficial and concerned with appearances.

Intimacy

Intimacy refers to the how much you need emotional closeness with your partner. You are very comfortable with being intimate and vulnerable with a partner. However, your desire for emotional closeness and security puts you at some risk for disclosing too much, too soon when a relationship is newly developing. People like you have big hearts and an impressive openness to your partner. That openness includes lessons learned from your past experiences and relationships, extending trust, believing your partner returns your feelings and devotion and being generally comfortable with surrendering yourself to a partner. In fact, you probably feel very uncomfortable – and even guilty – if there were any secrets between you and your partner. Likewise, you regard your lover as your best friend and your foremost confidant. There is typically no hesitation discussing current problems or concerns with this person. It also seems that you have realistic expectations for a committed relationship. You are willing to act on the belief that your partner’s feelings are equally as strong as yours. Therefore, you are probably not deterred in taking the risks associated with being vulnerable on all levels. Bottom line: you need someone who believes and acts on the belief that the intimacy of a relationship is sacred.

Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use “as is” or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your “intimacy” needs with potential partners:

“Under what circumstances do you think it is okay for someone to discuss details of his/her relationship with family or friends?”
“What type of issues would you talk to your friends or family about before sharing with your partner?”
“Do you think couples should have access to each other’s bank accounts, email accounts, calendars and basically all personal information?”

Food for Thought! PlentyofFish wants you to know about some idiosyncrasies the assessment identified in you. These are issues for you to contemplate on your own or explore with a professional relationship/dating coach.

Issues you seem to Over-value

I am comfortable without close emotional relationships. Possible reasons you responded this way include negative motivations and positive motivations. On the negative side, it could mean that you have a low self-esteem and self-image, that you are self centered, that you fear you will not live up to your partner’s expectations or that your partner will not live up to yours. On the positive side, it could mean that you have a have a good understanding of yourself and boundaries.

Self-efficacy

Self-Efficacy refers to your self-image, stability of mood and level of motivation. People like you are characterized by a strong self-esteem, sense of self and sense of accomplishment. Those who know you best would likely describe you as influential, patient and accepting of others – and calm, cool and collected most of the time. You are content with your personal qualities and feel you are an attractive person. Moreover, you probably have a good sense of control over the events in your life and are decisive in managing your life. In this sense, you likely do not overreact to circumstances as others might do. Rather, people in your scoring range are quite adaptable and are able to maintain a balanced perspective on situations. Additionally, you are also very influential and persuasive with others. Therefore, it is expected that family, friends and acquaintances often come to you for ideas of guidance across a range of issues. You are confident that people who are important in your life understand you, but you also tend to be comfortable not giving in to peer, family and other social pressures. Family is indeed important to you, but their expectations do not strongly influence your life. Instead, people who score like you tend to have their own well-defined ambitions and goals – and may even set specific benchmarks to monitor the progress made toward achievements. Bottom line: you need a partner who is energetic, enthusiastic and has high self-efficacy like you and will support or even participate in your personal and professional interests that feed your sense of identity and accomplishment.

Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use “as is” or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your “self-efficacy” needs with potential partners:

“To what extent do you need a job or hobbies that allow you to express your energy and creativity?”
“Do you like solving the challenges that work and home life throw at you? Why or Why not? “
“What are some of the best ways to turn around a ‘bad day’?”

Relationship readiness

Relationship Readiness refers to how prepared you are emotionally, psychologically and pragmatically for a committed relationship. You seem to be happy and content in your life. This is an excellent foundation for a committed relationship. In fact, most people in this scoring range have a clear vision and a sense of purpose for their life. They can connect well with others with effective relationship and dating skills, they have well defined ideas about where their life is headed and they are assertive and resourceful in meeting their goals. Therefore, you likely feel in control and are able to take charge and go after what you want in life and in a relationship. Your housekeeping is also probably in check – meaning that you do not have any negative baggage that can weigh down a relationship, like financial or legal problems or emotional, health or family issues. As such, you appear to be looking for a relationship to complement your life, not to fulfill or “complete” it. You probably have a lot to offer a partner, as long as you do not set unrealistic expectations for that person or the relationship. Bottom line: you need someone who is not looking to be taken care of, but rather who is realistic about the hard work it takes to build and maintain a stable and satisfying relationship.

Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use “as is” or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your “relationship readiness” needs with potential partners:

“How do you personally define success in life?”
“In what ways do your relationships with your children, ex-partner/spouse, siblings, parents and extended family interfere with having the life and relationship that you want?”
“How would you describe your requirements for a romantic partner?”

Communication

Communication refers to your approach to interpersonal interactions and level of emotional intelligence. Effective communicators have strong emotional intelligence, and you seem to fit this description. It is expected that you show considerable tolerance of ambiguity and emotional expression. You are usually extremely sensitive to other’s feelings and to their body language. Those who know you well would probably describe you as patient, open and eager to listen to others. People in this scoring range are also not afraid of making or admitting to mistakes. They consistently and bravely show vulnerability to others. In fact, they are constantly aware how their behavior impacts others. You can communicate your needs and feelings honestly when someone engages you directly, and you can take the initiative and be assertive when needed. However, a defining characteristic of people in this range is that they do not rush to judgment. Rather, they pay attention, listen without jumping to conclusions and then reflect on information before responding. In a sentence, you seek both to understand others and for others to understand you. Bottom line: you need someone who is eager to give, collect and discuss information with you patiently versus communicate with you on superficial levels out of convenience.

Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use “as is” or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your “communication” needs with potential partners:

“Does the success of a committed relationship take priority over any other aspect of your life?”
“Do those closest to you think that you are an easy person to get to know? Explain”
“If you are sure you are right about something, do you waste time listening to other people’s arguments or viewpoints?”

Conflict resolution

Conflict Resolution refers to your stress management and problem solving skills. Effective conflict resolution has nine general elements: View Conflict as Positive; Address Conflict in the Proper Atmosphere; Clarify Perceptions; Note Needs, not wants; Draw on the Power of a Positive Partnership; Focus on the Future, then learn from the past; Identify Options for Mutual Gain; Develop ‘Doables’ or stepping stones to action; and Make Mutually-Beneficial Agreements. Your score indicates that you are fairly strong on all of these basic elements, except for Making Mutually-Beneficial Agreements. This suggests that you are very flexible and action-oriented when addressing problems, yet not so eager to find resolution that you settle for quick, temporary agreements. Settling on a temporary agreement is often a way of avoiding conflict, and it can lead to needs not being met. You do not seem to avoid conflict; instead you appear to evaluate the possible solutions and then actively engage your partner to work on a positive outcome for the relationship. Bottom line: you need someone who will join you in taking time to find a complete and genuine resolution to issues as opposed to avoiding conflict by settling for quick, temporary agreements.

Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use “as is” or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your “conflict resolution” needs with potential partners:

“Would you say that you have a hard time accepting that some mysteries in life just can not be solved? Explain”
“Does it help you to solve problems by thinking of your own past experiences and knowledge in new ways?”
“In your experience, does knowing too much about a problem hinder or help you resolve it?”

Food for Thought! PlentyofFish wants you to know about some idiosyncrasies the assessment identified in you. These are issues for you to contemplate on your own or explore with a professional relationship/dating coach.

Issues you seem to Over-value

I bargain to resolve conflict. Possible reasons you responded this way include negative motivations and positive motivations. On the negative side, it could mean that you have difficulty maintaining an optimistic outlook, that you have low self esteem, that you “give in” too easily or that you minimize the importance of your needs. On the positive side, it could mean that you always strive to understand what another person is thinking, that you like to please your partner and that you strive to bring balance to the relationship.

Sexuality

Sexuality refers to your needs (frequency, boundaries, expressions) related to physical intimacy. Scientific models of love and attachment always include physical chemistry and sexuality. It is a crucial topic for any couple to address, because it involves issues of control and vulnerability. People at your scoring level have a firm sense of their sexual orientation, preferred sexual activities and comfort level. You like sex that is romantic, adventurous and fun, but for you sex is not a casual event. Sex has great importance in your relationship, and it is reserved for someone you love. You may think your sexual preferences would be viewed as conservative by others, but you are hardly a prude. You tend to be very confident in your sexual ability, you are not self conscious in bed and you are open to try various activities. People in this scoring range are willing to be vulnerable and relinquish control in the bedroom to their partners. In other words, you are not sexually selfish. While you appreciate spontaneity and wild abandon in sex, you also seem to like for sex to be planned to some extent. Most times this probably reflects the fact that you like to set the mood, build anticipation and ensure you have privacy and no interruptions. Bottom line: you need someone who regards sex as a meaningful bond between people in love and who appreciates when it is planned to some extent rather than completely spontaneous.

Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use “as is” or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your “sexual” needs with potential partners:

“How important to you is preparation for sex? – and under what situations?”
“In your mind, is there any difference between ‘having sex’ and ‘making love’?”
“Do your sexual fantasies tend to involve romantic scenes and anticipation or do they trend to being more about spontaneity and unbridled passion?”

Food for Thought! PlentyofFish wants you to know about some idiosyncrasies the assessment identified in you. These are issues for you to contemplate on your own or explore with a professional relationship/dating coach.

Issues you seem to Over-value

As a sexual partner, I try to be neat. Possible reasons you responded this way include negative motivations and positive motivations. On the negative side, it could mean that you have poor self esteem, that you are a perfectionist or that you have unrealistic expectations for yourself. On the positive side, it could mean that you are concerned with cleanliness, that you are concerned with pleasing your partner or that you know what you like.

Attitudes toward love

Attitudes Toward Love refers to your level of needs for romantic love and friendship love. There are two main types of love – Romantic Love and Companionate Love. Romantic Love is passionate, emotional and intense, whereas Companionate Love is a deep, affectionate attachment. People feel these two types of loves to different degrees in a relationship, and the levels of each can fluctuate over time. You scored as someone who may be best described as “a “hopeless romantic with a touch of realist.” This means that you do value the safety, security and comfort of Companionate Love, but for you a relationship must have a strong dose of Romantic Love. In this sense, you desire someone who is on the same wavelength as you –sharing similar attitudes, moods and impulses. It is common for people in this range to view their partner as a soul mate – a person who you were destined to meet and fall in love with. This attitude of “love conquers all” is optimistic and sweet, but it is not productive to remain in a “love daze” and idealize your partner constantly. Seeing a partner and relationship while only wearing rose-colored glasses can prevent you from identifying and addressing problem areas in the relationship. Bottom line: you need someone who satisfies the hopeless romantic in you but who will insist that you take time to get to know each other well before the taking the relationship to next levels.
Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use “as is” or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your “love attitude” needs with potential partners:

“In choosing a partner, do you believe it is best to love someone with a similar background? Explain”
“If you truly love another person, is that enough to marry or otherwise have a committed relationship with that person?”
“How do you feel about the notion that ‘common interests are really unimportant; as long two people are truly in love, they will adjust’?”

Preferred Expressions of Affection

Preferred Expressions of Affection refers to your likes and dislikes for different ways a partner can express love and devotion. There are many ways in which people show affection to their loved ones: physical touch, doing favors, spending time together, giving gifts or communicating love through words. Statistically, you gave higher weighted ratings to Physical Touch. Bottom line: You need someone who can express affection through touch – a playful tickle, holding hands, hugs and kisses or a light touch as s/he passes by.

Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use “as is” or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your “affection” needs with potential partners:

“How do you flirt physically with a partner and how often do you like to?”
“Do you like to act like a kid and playfully wrestle or have a tickle or pillow fight with a partner?”
“How comfortable are you with PDAs (Public Displays of Affection) and which kinds?”

Out of the various modes of expressing affection, Actions received lower weighted ratings from you. Bottom line: This does not necessarily mean that you neither like nor need Actions. Rather, it suggests that you need someone who feels that simple or grand acts of kindness are no substitutes for other expressions of affection – such as telling you how they feel, treating you like a partner, touching you lovingly, spending time with you or remembering special occasions with a thoughtful gift.

Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use “as is” or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your “affection” needs with potential partners:

“In what ways – if any – do you like for a partner to depend on you?”
“Have you offered to throw a party for someone? – if so, why did you take on that responsibility?”
“What are some things you have done for other people that they would say were the most thoughtful?”

About

This test was created by the world’s foremost team of academic psychologists who specialize in personality testing, To read more about our assessment check out our FAQ page.

me according to plentyoffish

In my never ending (but ambivalent of late) search for the one (as in the song by elton john, among others), i finally created a plentyoffish (pof) profile and in doing so, took their chemistry test… the results of that test are below and while the words do not describe me accurately in some areas (like self-control, for instance, as many who know me {and work with me daily} consider me more detail oriented than they want me to be, but that’s another story for another time) but i understand how that dichotomous aspect of my personality can easily be read either way by personality tests), there is a lot that reflects me well enough to be repeated here for you if you want to know me… we begin with the pof description of their chemistry test:

The Plentyoffish Relationship Chemistry Test (POFCT) measures five broad dimensions of personality that are each essential for building a romantic relationship. It’s not the case that a person must be “high” on each of the personality characteristics to be in a relationship. Instead, what is important is how your personality interacts with the personality of your romantic partner on each dimension. Or what is commonly called “chemistry.” Based on decades of empirical research in psychology, the POFCT captures the five key ingredients that can determine whether or not two people have the “right” chemistry. The dimensions are:

Self-Confidence, or the degree to which a person feels comfortable with him or herself. People that are high in self-confidence tend to be assertive and competent in both their private and public relationships. People that are low in self-confidence tend to be reticent and somewhat anxious.

Family Orientation, or the degree to which a person supports and values the family. People that are family oriented tend to want or already have children, are very close to their immediate relatives, and prefer cooking at home to eating at a restaurant. People that are not family oriented tend to be individualistic, unconventional, and very much enjoy attending parties and social functions.

Self-Control, or the extent to which a person exerts control over various aspects of life. People that are high in self-control tend have strong emotional reactions to things and try to regulate those feelings by micromanaging and attending to specific details. People that are low in self-control are usually relaxed, even-tempered, and lenient.

Openness, or the extent to which a person is open to and dependent upon others. People that are high in openness tend to like a wide range of things (e.g., food, music, movies, etc.), in part because they are concerned with pleasing other people. In contrast, people low in openness are very independent and opinionated; they know what they like and aren’t apt to change their opinion.

Easygoingness, or a person’s work ethic and degree of mental flexibility. People that are high in easygoingness are very relaxed, broadminded, and unaffected by change. In contrast, people low in easygoingness tend be hardworking, firm, and sometimes inflexible.

And now, my very own…

Relationship Chemistry Test Results

Self-Confidence

As someone with high self-confidence, you feel quite comfortable interacting with other people. Indeed, you find the company of others very stimulating and enjoy meeting new people. Your relaxed demeanor in groups makes people around you comfortable too. Perhaps because you feel comfortable talking about yourself, others tend to enjoy being around you and perceive you as socially competent.

The confidence that helps you feel comfortable talking to people also spills into your own personal beliefs about yourself. Although you have several strengths, it’s likely that you also acknowledge and accept your weaknesses. But unlike some people, you take full responsibility for your actions—you rarely regret things you’ve done in the past and are not embarrassed easily.

Perhaps the defining feature that sets you apart from most people is the exceptionally high standards that you set for yourself. Your competence in social gatherings as well as at work should provide ample evidence for this. With these characteristics, it’s very likely that people come to you for advice and generally think of you as someone with leader-like qualities.

Family Orientation

As someone who is oriented to familial matters, you value the company of family-members and domestic life. If you have children already, you enjoy spending time with them very much and work hard to be a good parent. If you don’t have children, you very much desire having children in the future. And your preference for cooking and entertaining guests at home will likely ease the transition into parenthood.

You take pride in maintaining and cultivating a healthy family and work hard to achieve this. This natural tendency is easily illustrated by your preference for doing things around the house as opposed to going out to clubs and restaurants.

What really sets you apart from people that are low in family orientation is that you know how to manage your frustrations and work well on your own. This means that you are well-equipped to manage a family without letting all the work that is involved wear you down. However, as someone with strong family values, all the work that is involved in maintaining a tidy home and well-stocked kitchen might occasionally make it difficult for you to finish everything that you need to do.

Self-Control

The self-control personality dimension captures the way in which a person regulates and directs him or herself. Being low in self-control can be both good and bad. Occasionally people may be compelled to follow their intuitions and give in to their temptations, and your degree of self-control makes this likely to happen more often than not. This can be good in circumstances where being relaxed and open are important. However, in situations where it is necessary to be focused and careful, you might find that you do or say things that may be inappropriate.

As someone who exerts little control over your actions, you may find that you commit social blunders that might offend other people and get yourself in trouble. For example, if you’re given responsibility to work on a project that requires close attention to detail, you may be likely to overlook important details because you have difficulty staying focused. Consequently, you might feel more comfortable delegating such tasks to other people who are more detail oriented. Being able to recognize such characteristics in yourself and having more detail-oriented people do such tasks could be an effective way to manage your own stress level.

Low self-control may diminish your effectiveness at work. Acting too relaxed can make it difficult for you to focus on projects that require organized sequences of steps or stages. Thus, your ability to accomplish may be inconsistent. Indeed, it’s possible that you might be criticized periodically for being unreliable or unable to “stay within the lines.” Nonetheless, you may still experience many short-lived pleasures and never be thought of as boring.

Openness

As someone high in openness, you have a strong appreciation for beauty, both in art and nature. Indeed, it’s likely that you are easily absorbed in music and art, as well as natural phenomena. Another aspect of your openness is your emotional insight; that is, you probably have good access to and awareness of your own emotions.

Another aspect of the openness dimension is the tendency to think about abstract concepts and ideas. This thinking style may take the form of artistic and metaphorical use of language, and/or music composition or performance. Thus, it is likely that, either in your work or spare time, you enjoy activities that get your “creative juices” flowing.

Your tendency to be open-minded can have advantages and disadvantages. For instance, when there are no clear rules about how to approach a particular problem, your openness makes it easier for you to identify new ways to solve problems that might not be very obvious to people that are not as open as you are. In contrast, you may be bored easily in situations that lack high amounts of intellectual stimulation. In such cases, you might have difficulty excelling on projects that do not provide much stimulation or require much creative thinking.

Easygoingness

Easygoingness refers to one's ability to relax. Based on your score, you appear to “take things as they come” and enjoy having a good time. However, being high in easygoingness also has the potential to produce stress in a number of ways. For example, you may find it difficult to complete tasks thoroughly and efficiently. In this way, being high in easygoingness cannot only make your life difficult, but also the lives of the people around you. Another potential problem with being too high in easygoingness is that it can provide you with gratification in the short-term, but in the long-term provide undesirable consequences.

High easygoingness, even when not seriously destructive, may also diminish your effectiveness at work, for example. You may find it aversive and difficult to put in all the effort that may sometimes be needed to effectively accomplish certain tasks. For this reason, your colleagues might view you as forgetful and unfocused.

How does your personality affect your love life?

With the strong degree of self-confidence that you possess, it’s no surprise that you get along well with most people. Indeed, it’s self-confidence that allows people to feel comfortable interacting with others without feeling insecure and vulnerable. For this reason, you shouldn’t have much difficulty in romance, at least not initially. Your social skills will likely help relieve any anxiety your romantic partners might have on those first few dates. However, over time, the high standards that you have for yourself could potentially frustrate your partner.

Given how much you value family life, you probably get along best with people who share your values and beliefs. In fact, it’s likely that you maintain close connections with members of your immediate and distant family. For this reason, you would probably be most satisfied in a romantic relationship with someone who also values domestic life.

Being in a relationship with someone who enjoys going out to parties and staying-up late at night might be fun, at least initially; yet it’s likely that you will find this tiring over time. Thus, it might be easier and more satisfying for you to develop a long-lasting relationship with a person who also enjoys spending time at home and desires starting a family. On first dates, perhaps you might suggest to your partner that the two of you spend a quiet night having dinner at one of your respective homes instead of going out to a restaurant or club.

As someone who is more relaxed than most people, you likely get along with most people quite well. Chances are that your friends and colleagues perceive you as lively, fun to be with, and good-humored. When it comes to romance, you’ll likely be attracted to most people. However, your free-spirited nature might make being in a relationship with a person that is more rigid than you difficult because you might perceive the person as being too uptight and controlling.

Your openness probably makes it easy for you to respect and appreciate people that are different from you. However, when it comes to romantic relationships, your openness might make it difficult for you to tolerate people that cannot appreciate diversity as much as you. Therefore, you may be happiest in serious relationships with people that share your open-mindedness. But, your openness might occasionally cause a certain degree of dependency on your end because you may be so open that you easily adopt the preferences and habits of your partners and gradually relinquish things that make you so unique.