Saturday, August 20, 2011

Sunday, June 19, 2011

chemistry, yo

free weekend on chemistry dot com drew me over (with just a few hours left... not a big believer in there cash cow online mating services) to answer their questions and complete a profile... don't know how to link the profile just yet, but this is what the 2000 character or less summary contained:

I am not into selling myself or buying friends or love, which means I occasionally waste a little time on sites like these. I am a giving tree, the giver, if you pick up on the book references. It is a fault as much as a blessing. I do not give myself the time to optimize myself these days, a compromise that is not completely satisfying, and I'd love to find a friend who inspires me to return to a more optimal life balance. I'll do it myself eventually, but it';s more fun shared.

Happy within myself, I am loving life and who I am. I am not into make-up or masks unless it is for a costume party. Putting on airs or a show is for the stage and while I love the stage, I live to enjoy life without pretense or concern with other's judgments. Ignorance is not bliss for me. I want no delusions or dependency on drugs, gods, or any other escapes from self-responsibility and awareness in this life. Who I want is my best friend, the one who will know me and let me know her because we see eye to eye without compromise or fooling ourselves. Completely open honesty, awareness, true unconditional love and trust, and being open to the infinite possibilities of life scares most people - it is most important to me. I want someone who understands fear is a tool, not an obstacle, and we control it, not the other way around. I function within human society, however live outside of the norms in my mind and find most human culture ridiculously ignorant, wasteful, and fear-driven. People appear to choose an external locus of control, shirk responsibility, and pretend that is ok. It is not ok. I do not want to have to carry or lead someone all the time. I want someone who can and will open their heart and mind to awareness beyond the current human consciousness, understand the singularity of being alive, need to possess nothing, and want to share everything. It is a choice we make.


They deleted this last part:

This is just a scratch of the surface and the very beginning. Text me, call me, talk to me. 407-325-1482


The site sums me up like this:

About your personality

You are very curious and you love adventure, either or both intellectual and physical. So when you get interested in something, you can become extremely focused on it, sometimes to the exclusion of all around you. You pursue your interests thoroughly, too, often with originality and exactitude.

You are adaptable, competitive and a problem-solver, as well as skeptical, tough minded and determined. Because you have a lot of energy and tend to be enthusiastic about your theories and projects, you can be very persuasive. You are eager to make an impact on those around you, too, as well as in the wider world.

You are irreverent and highly independent. So you can be oblivious to authority figures, as well as to rules, schedules and social customs. And although you enjoy people and can be charming and humorous, you are not interested in routine social engagements or anyone whom you regard as boring. Instead, you seek stimulating and focused conversations; and you are comfortable being by yourself, pursuing your own many interests.

Of all twelve (primary/secondary) types, you are also the most sexual-because both dopamine and testosterone stimulate the sex drive.


It also says I am 29% Explorer, 28% Director, 25% Negotiator, and 17% Builder. The ten profiles they showed me were seven builders, two explorers, and one negotiator... all wanted something i am clearly not and all described themselves as someone i clearly stated i did not want... oh well, huh?...


Relating to others

You like to have good conversations on important topics; so people tend to admire you for your knowledge and innovativeness. You shy away from emotional or self-revealing conversations, however; introspection leaves you cold. Instead, you derive intimacy from doing things with friends or a partner. So you make an exciting, although at times aloof, companion.

In love and relationships

As an Explorer, you look out not in; you are foremost interested in the world around you. So you are attracted to a mate who is also intellectually and physically adventurous and interested in dissecting this complex, tangible universe. You particularly like imaginative and theoretical people, a "mind mate." And you like a partner who is sexual, because you regard sex as an important aspect of a relationship. You have nerves of steel and thrive on the edge. You are also decisive and direct. So you are unconsciously drawn to those who can balance out your highly independent and tough-minded spirit--those who are novelty seeking, yet compassionate, verbal, intuitive, trusting, flexible and emotionally expressive.


Wednesday, June 8, 2011

I probably just wasted my time typing the following into realmaturesingles if only based on the name of the site (i think it's a great expectations site for the senior set... i suppose i should have mentioned i play softball and tennis several times a week and do not want someone sedentary, which means they better be able to run a marathon or they are probably not for me), but here's another meandering introduction...

I am not into selling myself or buying friends or love, which probably means we are wasting our time and do not have time to continue now, which is par for the course these days, I am a giving tree, if you pick up on the book reference. This which is also a fault as I give more than is optimal for me much of the time, which is the primary reason I may work until I die. I am not giving myself the time to optimize myself these days, a compromise that is not completely satisfying, so I am not truly ready to be with someone else in the same state of compromise and it is not fair to ask someone not compromising as I do to be with me. Did I mention I am not into selling myself? :)

I am happy within myself, too busy to be at my best in all ways, but loving life and who I am. I am not into make-up or masks unless it is for a costume party. Putting on airs or a show is for the stage and while I love the stage, I live to enjoy life without pretense or concern with other's judgments. Ignorance is not bliss for me. I want no delusions or dependency on gods, drugs, or any other escapes from this life. Who I want is my best friend, the one who will know me and let me know her because we see eye to eye without compromise or fooling ourselves. Honesty, awareness, true unconditional love and trust, and being open to the infinite possibilities of life scares people. I want someone who understands fear is a tool, not an obstacle, and we control it, not the other way around. I function within human society, however live outside of the norms in my mind and find most human culture ridiculously ignorant, wasteful, and fear-driven. People people choose an external locus of control, shirk responsibility, and pretend that is ok. It is not ok. I do not want to have to carry someone all the time. I want someone who can and will open their heart and mind to awareness beyond the current human consciousness, understand the singularity of being alive, need to possess nothing and want to share everything and accept it, everything, is our choice. I want someone who can enjoy material luxuries, but could be just as happy living in a box on the street if it was the right street. I want someone not allowing fear of death to interfere with living life. I want someone not allowing fear of sensuality and sexuality to interfere with physical pleasures. I want someone not allowing delusion or the unknown interfere with learning and exploring philosophical and physical potentials. I love music, words, reading and writing, visual images, intellectual, creative, board and card games, exercise (softball, tennis, running, sex) and want someone sharing these loves and all I have left out. I want someone bringing all she is to me as I do for her. I want much more, but for now, let's close with - I someone who laughs at typos.