I probably just wasted my time typing the following into realmaturesingles if only based on the name of the site (i think it's a great expectations site for the senior set... i suppose i should have mentioned i play softball and tennis several times a week and do not want someone sedentary, which means they better be able to run a marathon or they are probably not for me), but here's another meandering introduction...

I am not into selling myself or buying friends or love, which probably means we are wasting our time and do not have time to continue now, which is par for the course these days, I am a giving tree, if you pick up on the book reference. This which is also a fault as I give more than is optimal for me much of the time, which is the primary reason I may work until I die. I am not giving myself the time to optimize myself these days, a compromise that is not completely satisfying, so I am not truly ready to be with someone else in the same state of compromise and it is not fair to ask someone not compromising as I do to be with me. Did I mention I am not into selling myself? :)

I am happy within myself, too busy to be at my best in all ways, but loving life and who I am. I am not into make-up or masks unless it is for a costume party. Putting on airs or a show is for the stage and while I love the stage, I live to enjoy life without pretense or concern with other's judgments. Ignorance is not bliss for me. I want no delusions or dependency on gods, drugs, or any other escapes from this life. Who I want is my best friend, the one who will know me and let me know her because we see eye to eye without compromise or fooling ourselves. Honesty, awareness, true unconditional love and trust, and being open to the infinite possibilities of life scares people. I want someone who understands fear is a tool, not an obstacle, and we control it, not the other way around. I function within human society, however live outside of the norms in my mind and find most human culture ridiculously ignorant, wasteful, and fear-driven. People people choose an external locus of control, shirk responsibility, and pretend that is ok. It is not ok. I do not want to have to carry someone all the time. I want someone who can and will open their heart and mind to awareness beyond the current human consciousness, understand the singularity of being alive, need to possess nothing and want to share everything and accept it, everything, is our choice. I want someone who can enjoy material luxuries, but could be just as happy living in a box on the street if it was the right street. I want someone not allowing fear of death to interfere with living life. I want someone not allowing fear of sensuality and sexuality to interfere with physical pleasures. I want someone not allowing delusion or the unknown interfere with learning and exploring philosophical and physical potentials. I love music, words, reading and writing, visual images, intellectual, creative, board and card games, exercise (softball, tennis, running, sex) and want someone sharing these loves and all I have left out. I want someone bringing all she is to me as I do for her. I want much more, but for now, let's close with - I someone who laughs at typos.