I probably just wasted my time typing the following into realmaturesingles if only based on the name of the site (i think it's a great expectations site for the senior set... i suppose i should have mentioned i play softball and tennis several times a week and do not want someone sedentary, which means they better be able to run a marathon or they are probably not for me), but here's another meandering introduction...

I am not into selling myself or buying friends or love, which probably means we are wasting our time and do not have time to continue now, which is par for the course these days, I am a giving tree, if you pick up on the book reference. This which is also a fault as I give more than is optimal for me much of the time, which is the primary reason I may work until I die. I am not giving myself the time to optimize myself these days, a compromise that is not completely satisfying, so I am not truly ready to be with someone else in the same state of compromise and it is not fair to ask someone not compromising as I do to be with me. Did I mention I am not into selling myself? :)

I am happy within myself, too busy to be at my best in all ways, but loving life and who I am. I am not into make-up or masks unless it is for a costume party. Putting on airs or a show is for the stage and while I love the stage, I live to enjoy life without pretense or concern with other's judgments. Ignorance is not bliss for me. I want no delusions or dependency on gods, drugs, or any other escapes from this life. Who I want is my best friend, the one who will know me and let me know her because we see eye to eye without compromise or fooling ourselves. Honesty, awareness, true unconditional love and trust, and being open to the infinite possibilities of life scares people. I want someone who understands fear is a tool, not an obstacle, and we control it, not the other way around. I function within human society, however live outside of the norms in my mind and find most human culture ridiculously ignorant, wasteful, and fear-driven. People people choose an external locus of control, shirk responsibility, and pretend that is ok. It is not ok. I do not want to have to carry someone all the time. I want someone who can and will open their heart and mind to awareness beyond the current human consciousness, understand the singularity of being alive, need to possess nothing and want to share everything and accept it, everything, is our choice. I want someone who can enjoy material luxuries, but could be just as happy living in a box on the street if it was the right street. I want someone not allowing fear of death to interfere with living life. I want someone not allowing fear of sensuality and sexuality to interfere with physical pleasures. I want someone not allowing delusion or the unknown interfere with learning and exploring philosophical and physical potentials. I love music, words, reading and writing, visual images, intellectual, creative, board and card games, exercise (softball, tennis, running, sex) and want someone sharing these loves and all I have left out. I want someone bringing all she is to me as I do for her. I want much more, but for now, let's close with - I someone who laughs at typos.

to make love

the single most powerful moments of human sharing are those moments when nothing else matters except the giving of 100% of attention, energy, devotion, caring, and passion to providing pleasure to another person, moments commonly referred to as making love...

all the advances of humankind, all the technology designed to make life easier and provide more liesure time, all the consumerism designed to provide wealth and prosperity and toys designed to amuse and make life easier and more fun, all the profound thinking, the holy prayers, the enlightened intelligence, the evolutionary improvements that enhance the life experience, all dissolved in the singluar moments of bonding in unconditional trust, intimacy, and passion that is the creation of love, for life or pleasure...

this is the ultimate answer, the transcended enlightenment, the most holy of moments that intelligence is designed to enhance when wisdom overcomes fear and love is actualized... but how few, if any, truly overcome all the delusional rhetorical thinking that fuels the fears... one alone can only point to the answer and lead, but making love is not one leading and another following, it is mutual sharing...

it takes two and i wonder if i will ever find another who can and will share the experience again... i wonder if i will ever make love with another human being again...

there is always hope (i hope)...

the keys to peace, love, and happiness (the soulmate song)

are you out there
can you hear me
are you looking for someone
who will always be the one

are you in there
do you fear me
are you hiding from yourself
or from some book on your shelf

are you listening
are you hearing
does it matter that you don't do
what you say you know is true

maybe you understand
and you are not like the rest
maybe you really care
and can pass the final test
and if we don't know what it is
we can always do our best
to be everything we want forever
could we be so impressed

or is this just an illusion born of my fantasy
are you here right now in these words with me

are you out there
can you feel me
is there any way to be sure
we will never want anymore

are you in there
can you be real to me
how acute is your awareness
how balanced is your fairness

maybe you understand
and you are not like the rest
maybe you really care
and can pass the final test
and if we don't know what it is
we can always do our best
to be everything we want forever
could we be so impressed

could we really have compatible sensitivities
are you here right now in these words with me

first comes the attraction we cannot resist
then comes compatibility
then comes patience and a will to succeed
then comes sensitivity
then comes belief that the dream can come true
then comes putting everything in place
then all we need is the proof and all we have to do
is actualize it all in time and space
all it takes is sharing time in space
all it takes is sharing time in space
all it is… is sharing time in space